Don’t Forget to Check Out My YouTube Channel

From time to time I like to work on various video projects. Most of them never come to fruition due to my extreme laziness, but occasionally things work out. Recently I made another Stoner Bean video, in which my perpetually stoned cat Bean takes a psychedelic trip through Ted Nugent.
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The Patrick Duffy Scale of Attractiveness

It occurred to me that as a society we are very hung up on looks (what?! this is a shocking revelation!). With a few notable exceptions, our celebrities, musicians, female professional wrestlers (known as ‘Divas’ for the uninitiated), and gravediggers are all wank material.

The problem with this concept is that we really have no way to organize said gravediggers into appropriate groupings of hotness, which as you can imagine causes endless problems. I know when I’m discussing the attractiveness of a person with a friend I stumble over words trying to describe them. Once I even referred to Klondike Kardashian as “a beacon of hope to the American people,” when what I meant to say was “fuckable.”

Enter the Patrick Duffy Scale of Attractiveness. I have created a simple system of categorizing hot people into five distinct groups which are all segmented by the hunky King of Townsend, Montana. Let’s get started, shall we? Continue reading