Beds are Burning

It’s time to throwback to that time I “made improvements to” the music video for the most Australian song ever: Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil. I made this video at a very dark time in my existence (even darker than normal!) and when I uploaded it to YouTube, I was hit with a copyright claim and the video was taken down. Because obviously I was taking away all that sweet Beds are Burning ad revenue away. Continue reading


March 24th: Reflection Time

I always tend to look back on things on this day every year, actually I mostly just look back on all of my failures… of which there are many. Obviously there are some big ones from just the last few years but there are also the many small ones like not taking a step I wanted to take or being hesitant in a moment I shouldn’t have been. Or declaring that I have, in fact, listened to several Pitbull songs. 

But this year something cropped into my head that ultimately didn’t have anything to do with me, and I would like to share that experience with you, my loyal readers (all both of you).  Continue reading

The Patrick Duffy Scale of Attractiveness

It occurred to me that as a society we are very hung up on looks (what?! this is a shocking revelation!). With a few notable exceptions, our celebrities, musicians, female professional wrestlers (known as ‘Divas’ for the uninitiated), and gravediggers are all wank material.

The problem with this concept is that we really have no way to organize said gravediggers into appropriate groupings of hotness, which as you can imagine causes endless problems. I know when I’m discussing the attractiveness of a person with a friend I stumble over words trying to describe them. Once I even referred to Klondike Kardashian as “a beacon of hope to the American people,” when what I meant to say was “fuckable.”

Enter the Patrick Duffy Scale of Attractiveness. I have created a simple system of categorizing hot people into five distinct groups which are all segmented by the hunky King of Townsend, Montana. Let’s get started, shall we? Continue reading