It’s a new week of Boob Tube Boys episodes, and that means a new TV show. This time we clumsily work with the very serious topics presented by 21 Jump Street, which of course starred Johnny Depp in his role as Tom Hanson. You can find both of our episodes (“Honor Bound” and “2245”) of this gem of a show on your preferred podcast app, and quite frankly should have already done so.

When Johnny Depp first became a household name, all the teenaged girls (and presumably boys, at least the ones who weren’t beaten up for their sexual preference) went apeshit. A star was born. A knife-fingers hedge-trimmer/barber person was born. A headless horseman was born. A pirate the 21-year-old Keira Knightley had to kiss was born. (Side note: Knightley apparently loved it, but the two-plus-decades-older Depp found the experience “awkward.”)

But wait. Let’s rewind a little. Is it possible that none of this would have happened without the influence of a certain Oscar-winning actor? No, not Jack Nicholson. I’m talking about the legend himself, one Nicolas Cage. Fun fact: he actually drank all that booze in Leaving Las Vegas for real, which is why everything he did afterwards was crazy as shit.

Okay fine, he was always that way.

In an interview originally published by the New York Times, Cage flat out took credit for Depp’s entire career. Apparently, the two were somehow close friends who would get together on occasion and play Monopoly. I have more thoughts on this than could be expressed in a mere blog post; this warrants an entire novel. For now, just take my word for it and do whatever googling you want.

Depp was in dire straits at the time. He wanted to be a musician. He was selling pens for income. So the kindly Nicolas Cage said to him, “Hey kid, you’re cute. Let me hook you up with my agent. We’ll find a role for you.” I wasn’t there unfortunately, so I’m just paraphrasing.

From here, Depp landed a role immediately in Nightmare on Elm Street, and the world was never the same. Nicolas Cage was never the same. Actually, once again, I think he was always that way.