“Yes sir, shall I read you your schedule?” said the man. His military training honed him into not just a warrior, but also a disciplined and professional officer. Yet it took away what made him special, and thus essentially removed him from recognition. A dozen other officers could be standing here in his place and it wouldn’t be different with any of them

The old man’s lips smacked. “Yes, yes, that’s fine, officer… er, um…”

“Jerjerrod, sir.” The main proudly exclaimed

“Very well General ‘Jergensrob.’ Give me the itinerary.” The old man wearily said

The officer paused for a moment, unsure of whether to correct the elderly man but ultimately ignored the mistake and continued. “Sir you’ve a meeting with a Mr. Bankrimm at 11 am, and of course lunch with your financial advisors at noon.” The officer continued through the old man’s plans and after it was all done he asked if he could speak freely

“Go on, Leiutenant…” the old man said with an air of annoyance hanging over the words

“Well, sir… I would be remiss if I didn’t mention your… special project. I had the room prepped for you last week yet it hasn’t been touched. If you’d like I can clean it all up or reset it for you…” he was cut off abruptly

“ENOUGH!” the old man bellowed. His voice carried throughout the entire room seeming like the very walls themselves were afraid of what he was capable of. “Leave me at once.” He snarled at the officer

“Y…yes sir!” Officer Jerjerrod turned and began to hurry away but just before the door closed behind him he heard the old man say “leave the device in the room. I will do what must be done.”

The wrinkled old man knew Jerjerrod was right in suggesting he get back to the project, although he was loathe to admit it. Rising to his feet he addressed the two guards who are always within shouting distance of him. “Prepare my shuttle. We leave at once. And have someone in the laundry rooms bring me a change of attire. I may need it after this strenuous event.” The two guards nodded, their spotless armor shining from the overhead lights

*             *             *

Arriving at the specially engineered room the guards did as they were told and waited just outside of the now closing doors. The familiar hiss as the room hermetically sealed raised through the air. The old man had taken his place at the altar and his beady, piercing eyes looked at the device in front of him. Unblinking, motionless he sat for what seemed an eternity before he finally took a deep breath and picked up the object

He brought it close to his left eye peering deeply into the glowing pyramid. It was both simple and yet the most complicated device he had ever seen. When looking at the magnificent piece you first notice the basic structure, but upon closer inspection you see what seems like millions of flashing, moving lights. The device has an infinite number of connections and at times seems as random as the wind while in the next moment displaying a distinct series of deliberate connections within

The old man’s mouth came to a snarl as he continued looking deeper and deeper into the pyramid, turning it every which way with his ghostly white, wrinkled hands. The device almost seemed to defy the very thoughts of the elderly man. When he thought of structure and patterns the colors began to swirl into meaningless nothingness. When his thoughts then turned to chaos he believed he began to see noticeable patterns form right in front of him

Angrily the man flung the shape to the table. He paced back and forth for a moment before finally pointing at the device and speaking directly to it. “If you think I am not worthy of your contents then I will show you the full power of the Dark Side!”

At once a great burst of force lightning sprang forth from the decaying body of the old man, sending ripples of blue and purple streaking throughout the room and into the device.

The Galactic Emperor only grew angrier when it continued to disobey his thoughts. He set his feet, reaching deeply into his ever increasing rage, and pointed a second hand at the device, sending a brilliantly bright blast of force lightning directly into the device from both hands now

“POWER!!!! UNNNNLLLLIIIIMMMIIIIITTTTEEEDDDDDDDDDDDD POWER!!!!” Palpatine screamed the words and felt every ounce of his hate flow through his body, out his gnarled fingers, and into the now trembling shape

Seeing it begin to waver his rage turned into sadistic glee as he let out a loud cackle, his voice echoing off the walls and amplifying his intense power even more. With a dazzling blast of lightning and pure energy, the pyramid finally split open, a faint green cloud of energy dissipating into the room from the now smoking device

The emperor fell back onto his seat, gasping. Opening it took far more concentration and effort than he anticipated. Although he knew what was to come next, he now feared that too much exertion would make the task too difficult for his fading mortal skin

Just then a voice echoed throughout the room. “Broken my protection, you have.” It was a familiar voice with a notorious syntax

“Master Yoda,” disgust now swallowed the Emperor’s tone. “Be done with the pleasantries. Let’s do this and be done with it”

“At such a hurry to see your rule end, you are?” returned the voice of the diminutive Jedi Grandmaster

A laugh escaped the powerful Sith lord. He couldn’t help but be amused at the confidence of the Jedi, as it was hubris that brought an end to his pretentious order in the first place. Palpatine had since studied the ancient Sith texts and learned that after his old enemy’s bodily death occurred, if he could break into the Jedi holocron left by Yoda he could destroy his spiritual connection to the force. This would cause Yoda’s spirit to fade into the Cosmic Force, forever eliminating what was once the old man’s greatest threat

At once the Jedi’s spirit formed into a sort of physical body, and a green lightsaber sprung from a hilt now firmly in the grandmaster’s hands. Palpatine knew he would need every advantage he could get. After all he was still tied to his mortal body while the Jedi would be drawing from the power of the Cosmic Force. Reaching his hands above his head he channeled deeper into the Dark side than he ever had before, releasing a blast of lightning towards the ceiling. The room had been specially designed to harness his Dark Side powers however, and a horrified Yoda watched as one concentrated blast became a dozen, then a hundred, then five hundred

He swiftly raised his lightsaber to absorb the shot and surprisingly it took the initial brunt of the attack. But with wave after wave coursing through his weapon he knew it wouldn’t hold forever. Finally after taking on all of the energy it could, the blade faded from view as the hilt sparked and exploded in his three-fingered green hands. The resulting blast forced him to the ground but did reflect a significant amount of energy back at Palpatine, who himself was knocked off his feet and winded

Without a weapon Yoda knew he stood no chance against the Sith lord so his only chance would be the one in front of him now. He leapt violently at the man eventually landing on his chest and pinning his arms to the ground. The Emperor let out a surprised yelp and Yoda threw all of his weight into him causing the two to tumble around the floor. Palpatine tried to get his arms around the tiny Jedi but was met with a stronger resistance than he expected

Yoda pushed and struggled and Palpatine returned the favor. After what seemed an eternity of struggling the two began to weaken, exhausted from the effort. Both Jedi and Sith could continue no more and the two crumpled into each other. But a peculiar thing happened just then. Their breathing began to sync, and the two found themselves cheek to cheek

Their beleaguered eyes met one another and it was difficult to tell who moved first. Perhaps it was at the same time, but suddenly their lips locked. Palpatine had never felt a need for physical relations, seeing them as leading to unnecessary emotional connections that distract from one’s goals. On the other side Master Yoda had believed physical relations to be merely a stepping stone to the Dark Side of the Force

But in this moment neither of the two cared about anything other than the longings deep within their souls. Their kisses went from a slow and short to passionate and intense. Wrinkled hand met wrinkled claw, and Palpatine wondered if Yoda was always this strong. Or was it just the Cosmic Force empowering the Jedi in a time of need?

As their tongues and lips met they began to slowly explore each other’s bodies. Palpatine grasped Yoda’s tiny but supple buttocks in his hands giving a gentle squeeze before running his fingernails scintillatingly up Jedi’s robed back

Yoda, who was on top by this point made a conscious decision to eschew the use of the Force. He knew it would make his actions far more meaningful, and thus far more erotic. Straddling the former Chancellor he began to tug at the thin rope belt holding his robe together. Pulling the worn and faded fabric back a small but muscular chest was revealed. Palpatine ran a hand across Yoda’s hairless left side, admiring how toned and strong it was

“The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be… unnatural.” Palpatine moaned. Taking control of the situation the Sith flipped Yoda onto his back and climbed on top grasping his flowing black robe at the base and pulling it over his head. This revealed severely scarred, pale flesh that seemed thin and delicate

This fragility surprised Yoda. It humanized the Dark lord and excited the Jedi’s heightened senses. “Do or do not. There is no try. And Iwant you to do.” Whispered the green figure

This caused Palpatine, now entirely nude, to gain a great burst of power. He grabbed Yoda flipping the Jedi onto his stomach and clasping one hand around his neck squeezing and giving Yoda a rush of Mitichlorians that enhanced every one of his senses. Yoda let out a moan and with his other hand Palpatine reached down to the Grandmaster’s exposed shaft, clasping it firmly in his hands. It was far larger than expected thought Palpatine, but after a moment to gather himself he began to rhythmically stroke with one hand while lightly choking with the other

Yoda released all inhibitions at this point and it was then that he felt the old man enter him. He fully expected the Sith to violently thrust, ravaging his 900 year old body but was surprised to discover how gentle Palpatine was. As Yoda relaxed his tension he felt Palpatine begin to find a rhythm. Before long Yoda realized he was tantalizingly close to climax. “Coming soon, I am!” he yelled to his lover

This caused Palpatine to increase his breathing and speed. He began to focus every bit of Dark Side energy he was drawing from to channel it into his partner. After all, he thought to himself. The Jedi forbid pleasure, but the Sith embrace it

Finally Yoda began to tense and suddenly a great green fountain erupted from the Jedi. It shot clean across the room and began to cover the panels on the wall. Tablespoons turned to cups, cups turned to quarts, quarts turned to gallons as the Jedi’s orgasm lasted nearly two minutes with frequent blasts of viscous green goo. Palpatine’s amazement was so intense that it quickly turned to raw, animalistic attraction

Yoda heaved a sigh of relief and looked back at his enemy. “Finish you off, I must.” He said with anticipation on his tongue

Palpatine fell to his knees and leaned back, using his hands to brace himself as the Jedi clasped the Sith’s ‘lightsaber’ in his right hand. It was no larger than a Gonk droid battery, but Yoda thought to himself how skilled its master was at using it. And besides, size matters not he thought to himself. Yoda began to stroke as Palpatine’s head fell back in delight

Yoda’s small mouth seemed perfectly tailored for Palpatine’s manhood, so he took all of it into his jaws. At first he slowly drew up and down while using one hand to grasp the man’s shriveled, wrinkly testicles. The other hand was placed firmly on Palpatine’s chest and Yoda began to gradually gain speed to his motions. The Sith grasped the back of the Jedi Master’s head and began to control the speed, alternating from rapid to slow

Eventually he felt the Dark Side begin to surge deep within him and he shouted “SO BE IT… JEDI!!!!” Just then an unprecedented blast of Force Lightning came firing out of his member. The strength of it caused the entire Death Star to shake and tremble, panels covered in green goo began to fall off the walls. Crewman all across the space station began to scramble to position, thinking a Rebel attack had been launched. Lights and power systems began to fail and short out. Even the Kyber crystals that feed the main weapon began to glow and throb

Back in the specially constructed room Palpatine gasped as he came to his senses. He looked around the room but Yoda was nowhere to be found. His bare butt gleaming as lights refracted off of the destroyed walls. He took a moment to catch his breath before finally gathering his things and putting on the fresh clothes brought for him, and hurriedly exiting the room. As the door opened before him he caught a glimpse of a broken holocron on the floor, colorless and without light. A smirk crossed his face as his eyes narrowed. He called out saying “Admiral ‘Jerryrod?’ Clean up this mess. We won’t have need of this facility any longer”

“Uh yes sir,” Jerjerrod said. “And by the way Mr. Bankrimm is here. He’s awaiting your audience in the throne room”

By Van Lee