Since time immemorial, living beings of various capacity have naturally found their way to two key questions: 1) ‘what is the meaning of existence?,’ and 2) ‘can someone please tell me what John De Hart is singing in “The Shimmy Slide?”‘

Spencer, Van, and I have been Slideheads from the first time we saw Road to Revenge/Geteven/Champagne and Bullets, and covering the (grossest) version of the film for a special edition of Boob Tube Boys rekindled that old sonic passion. Never one to back down from a monumental task, I took it upon myself to bust out the studio headphones and listen to De Hart’s tour-de-fear performance closely enough to make out all the mushy words.

You won’t find a better transcription of these lyrics anywhere. That is because other people have love in their lives.

*song written by someone, purchased and performed by John De Hart as Rick Bode

“Well, they’re sleek and they’re slidin’ all across the floor
Groovin’ two-by-two, stompin’ for some more
That’s when my eyes catch you and my heart begins to sing
Oh pretty baby I imagine you can swing
The beat starts a-movin as they push me from my chair
My fingers start a-snappin’ when I run ’em through your hair
I got to get to you, but I get to the side
Cause everybody’s doin’ the shimmy and the slide

You’re on fire when I grab you by the hand
Your waist is movin’ with the rhythm of the band
My eyes swell up as you take me for a ride
Come on pretty baby, let’s do the shimmy slide

Well, I’ve had a couple beers and I’m feeling just right
I’m sweatin’ all over cause her dress is so tight
I try to act cool, but you just won’t stop
Oh pretty baby, you make me so HOT

It’s time to go home, you’re gonna jump in your car
I know I got it started ’cause my heart’s on fire
You say jump in, let’s go for a ride
Maybe we’ll do the shimmy and the slide

You’re heart’s on fire when I grab you by the hand
Your waist is movin’ with the rhythm of the band
My eyes swell up as you take me for a ride
Come on pretty baby, let’s do the shimmy slide

HOOO! Let’s do it again!

Oh, you’re on fire when I grab you by the hand
Your waist is movin’ with the rhythm of the band
My eyes swell up as you take me for a ride
Come on pretty baby, let’s do the shimmy slide

HOT DAMN!”